No glucose results today. I am 90% sure I have GD but, despite this, had managed to convince myself that no news from the doctor meant that I was good to go. I was even starting to snap out of the funk I've been in for several days now. But, I broke down and called them to check the results anyway, even though I said I wouldn't, and they haven't received the results from the lab yet. Their theory is that the results got sent to the Reston office and haven't made their way to Sterling yet, so they should have them tomorrow at the latest.

In the 90 minutes since I discovered this, I've managed not only to convince myself all over again that I've got GD, but also to have a complete melt down over it. I can barely muster the time or energy to cook meals now, so how I am going to do it when I have specific dietary restrictions is beyond me. I can't remember what I was doing 10 minutes ago, but somehow I am supposed to remember to test my blood sugar 4 times a day. And exercise? Seriously? I am lucky if I can walk from the bed to the bathroom without my hips popping and my back aching. And yes, I know that I don't even know yet if I have it and, if I do, I will have no choice but to do all of these things to take care of myself and Ian. But I don't want to, and nothing you say is going to make me want to.