Working with a lactation consultant turned out to be a complete debacle. It took days for any of them to call me back, and when I finally got an appointment with one she didn't bother to show. Luckily we're having a little bit of success on our own, so I am still feling optimistic that we might get the hang of it eventually. In the meantime, my milk supply is finally catching up and we're almost to the point that we're feeding entirely on pumped breast milk, with the exception of one night feeding so I can skip a pumping session for some solid sleep. So, I don't feel as hopeless about it as I did before, but we still have a long way to go.
The emotions of the first week post-partum are much more severe than I expected. I feel like I cry a lot, and that I can't handle any kind of emotion without tears. When I'm frustrated about breast feeding, I cry. I cry when I think about Joe going back to work tomorrow because I will miss having him around during the day. I cry when I think about how much I love Ian and how cute and perfect and precious he is, and I cry when I think about how quickly he is going to grow up. I cry when I feel like I haven't held him enough, and then I cry when I'm holding him because it's so overwhelming to look at him and think about how we created him. I'm chalking this up to "baby blues" and hormones, and from what I've heard it's pretty normal, but I'll mention it to my doctor at my two-week follow-up on Thursday just in case it's something to watch.
2 comments:
Woot for some success on your own! Any progress at all sounds huge to me, and the supply stuff is great news.
A hex on the lactation consultant!!
Crying postpartum - yes, yes, yes. Definitely watch it, but you're not alone. And, I think I told you, once the early stuff passed, I was never less anxious and more stable feeling than Jack's first year (especially while I was breastfeeding - when I stopped, there were some new hormonal issues to face, which is really common whenever you stop breastfeeding).
Ian is very amazing and worth crying over.
Just from my experience, it sounds COMPLETELY normal. The first two weeks were really, really rough for me, but it got lots better after that. I actually can't remember the last time I cried, and considering the last 10 months of my life, that's saying something.
I'm SO happy for you that you're having a string of small victories with the breastfeeding! Ian's very lucky to have such a wonderful and dedicated mama. Hugs to you all!
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