Formula FTW

I finally made the decision to stop breastfeeding and switch to formula. After trying so hard to get Ian to latch well, he still has a very shallow latch and weak suction. Using the nipple shield then supplementing and pumping was just too much to handle for every single feeding, and I was physically and emotionally exhausted from the stress of trying so hard to make it work. I might have lasted longer with the exclusive pumping if my pump hadn't broken, but that's out of my control. We gave it our very best shot and it just didn't work.

I feel good that he got breastmilk for the first month of his life, and I feel good that I made the decision that's best for him and best for me. Breastfeeding might be the ideal, but good Moms do what's best for their families, and this is what's best for mine. As a bonus, I can now share feeding responsibility with Joe and Grandma, and I'm getting a lot more sleep because of it. I don't have to pump in the middle of the night, so instead I can focus on enjoying my quiet time with Ian. And, best of all, he holds on tight to my pinky while I give him his bottle, and that's just as sweet as nursing in my book.

Another bonus is that I can now go with Joe to Las Vegas in October without having to worry about storing milk and packing my pump. This is another one of those company-sponsored trips, so we'll have a really nice free hotel room and be able to treat ourselves to nice dinners. On one hand, it would be a really nice break from the daily routine of parenting and would be a great way for us to spend some time together without breaking the bank. It would also be a good way to squeeze in a vacation while I'm on maternity leave so I don't have to use up any official time off from work, and I'd still have 2 months with Ian when I got back. On the other hand, I'm not sure I can bear to be away from 3-month-old Ian for 4 whole days. I'm sure Grandma would take good care of him, but what if he misses or needs his Mommy and I'm 3 time zones away?